Adoption Day: Families show that bonds have been strengthened during the pandemic

Head coach Wesley Messias, 42, has always dreamed of becoming a father and raising a family. But he says he wanted to adopt a child himself. “I’ve never been so attached to this traditional family construction, shaped by the biological father, mother and child,” he says.

In 2015, he began doing research to understand how the adoption world works, and he found an Aconchego support group. He attended some group meetings and applied to be a romantic godfather, but soon dropped out. “I applied to be godfather, but after the first date I didn’t go anymore, I didn’t want to be a godfather, I really wanted to be a dad,” Wesley said.

Wesley Messias, for two years, participated in the meetings held in Snuggle Support Group. He was able to better understand adoption and learn about the stories of people who were in line or who had already adopted. In 2017, he started the bureaucratic process and spent a year filing documents. After the documentation process, he spent 3 years on the adoption waiting list.

It is a very bureaucratic and slow process. I’ve seen a lot of people give up on adoption because of that,” the coaching director laments.

In 2021, after all the steps of the adoption process, he was finally able to adopt a 9-year-old. Wesley says that at the beginning of the adoption process, where he was still off-limits to contact, he was unable to find a job. “I was out of work, without a job, without making money and my son had arrived, but we managed to find a way.”

On the other hand, Wesley points out that the closure ended up helping to build a relationship between him and the child. “The fact that you are home 24 hours a day together has accelerated the process of bonding and family affection.”

bureaucracy

The “happy ending” in Wesley’s lawsuit is still not the most common.

The National Council for Justice (CNJ) recorded an increase in the number of Adoptions began this year. However, while the total of those completed showed a 42% decrease compared to 2019, representing a mismatch between the desire to adopt a child and the completion of the procedure.

Reports by the pandemic suggest that process bureaucracy is one of the enemies, and a statement during the Covid-19 crisis describes the difficulty of adoption procedures.

Difficulties

According to the National System of Adoption and Shelter (SNA), there are currently 33,100 people eligible to adopt a child or teen and 4,104 children and teens eligible for adoption.But 75% of people are looking for children between the ages of 0-6 and only 5.8% would accept to adopt a black child.

A report by the System of National Accounts showed that, of the adoptions made between 2015 and 2020, 51% were children up to 3 years old; 27% of children between 4 and 7 years old; 15% are between 8 and 11 years old and only 6% are over 12 years old.

“Today we have many older children registered for adoption, while those eligible would like a different profile. So here we are trying more and more in our work to raise awareness,” said Giulia Salvani, Vice President of the Aconchego Group.

the changes

The biggest change in the adoption process was the emergency video conferencing platform for procedural business, which was set up by the National Council of Journalists to facilitate the work of legal parties in the context of face-to-face activities.

During the closure, some accredited NGOs had to rework the format of the stages of coexistence.

“We started, in the case of the slightly older children, with presentations by video call or message until a bond was established so that we could move to the stage of face-to-face coexistence,” said Júlia Salvagni.

According to the Childhood and Youth Court in TJDFT (VIJ-DF), From March 2020 to March 2021, 200 families entered the adoption application process. In the years prior to the onset of the pandemic, the annual average was 110 qualifications for adoption submitted at VIJ-DF.

Therefore, the arrival of Covid-19 in Brazil has not discouraged adoption, even with most of these processes not being completed. The NGO Childfund Brasil also reports that care has increased after 2020 due to the large number of children who have lost family members to the virus.

before the epidemic

Vanessa Ribeiro, 44, had an ectopic pregnancy, in which a fetus forms in one of the fallopian tubes and must be removed to avoid risks to the mother. When I entered the operating room, it was a surprise: I was born with only one tube. Once the member is removed, she is no longer able to get pregnant.

He decided to seek out a fertilization clinic, where they indicated he would undergo IVF, but he didn’t feel comfortable with the idea of ​​the procedure. Therefore, her husband suggested that they adopt. “did Enrolling in the Child and Adolescent Court, I took a course and attended several lectures at the Fortaleza Forum. Years passed, and their only answer was that they would have to wait. Even knowing that they had several children suitable for adoption, the waiting list did not move,” she stated about the bureaucracy of the process.

Through an acquaintance who was a social worker, Vanessa discovered a pregnant girl who already had a child and, due to lack of income, did not want to have another child. She offered to keep the mother’s child and accompany her for pregnancy, covering all necessary medical expenses. About the day of the birth, she said, “It touched me so much! He (the baby) came into my arms dressed in white like a little angel. It was the biggest excitement I ever felt when I picked her up.” Vanessa is back in the forum, where she gets temporary custody, but only gets permanent custody about two years later.

inspiration – inspiration

47-year-old Valeria Santos has always wanted to be a mother. Since I was a kid, I’ve taken doll toy very seriously, and I hope one day it will be real. When she got married, she and her husband had intended to have children, but after many attempts and even treatments, they failed. That’s when in 2007, after meeting a couple who had adopted a child, they decided to do the same.

They quickly searched for the Childhood Court, filled out the necessary forms and underwent an interview with a social psychologist to finally enter the adoption line. Valeria mentioned that throughout the four-year process, she felt a mixture of emotions, between fear, nostalgia and haste, but with a lot of love.

“I was second in last in line when Allen was born and Justice sent a subpoena, telegrams and a call and they couldn’t find the couple in front of me. So they called me and my husband Joao. So you came to the right place, our family and hers.”

“There is always a child waiting to call you mom or dad.” Valeria Santos.

Dealing with the adoption of a child can be difficult even after the legal steps that need to be taken because the bias is still present. “I remember once when I was walking along the street pushing a stroller to sunbathe with my beloved daughter, a distant neighbor said to me: ‘I don’t have the courage to take care of other people’s children! “I answered that my daughter was mine and I didn’t really care, at that moment happiness was the most important thing.”

Even in such situations, she says, there is no need to be afraid, there is a natural exchange of love, care, responsibility and even advice: “Dialogue with the truth is always the great success of this bond.”

Written by Melina Dias, Luana Nogueira and Catherina Braga
Supervised by Luis Claudio Ferreira

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