Joint custody is a fact of separation and can work – 05/13/2022

The marriage ended, the courtship did not work out, and the union ended. However, this was just the beginning of a controversy over something often not easy to resolve: joint custody of pets. With issues related to pet welfare, homesickness for teachers and the agreement made between them, the topic has to be beyond human expectations on the subject.

It is not uncommon for stress, anxiety and feelings of abandonment, which can cause behavioral and clinical problems among pets who have been in the middle of a marital breakup.

For foster care to be beneficial, those involved must be aware of their responsibilities so that the animal does not suffer separation. The emotional problem and the time available between teachers to stay with the pet should be taken into account mainly.

Another issue to consider, according to her, is apportionment of pet-related expenses, such as food, walking, bathrooms, and healthcare.

André Luis Candido shares custody of Morpho, his schnauzer, with his ex-wife

Photo: Fernando Moraes/UOL

Unofficial, that’s okay

The “parents” of Morpheus, a 6-year-old schnauzer, did not make any official pup-related splits when the divorce occurred in 2017, despite being advised by their attorney. “He wanted to put her in the process because he said he had already had problems. The lawyer’s fear was that after the divorce was formalized, there would be a quarrel and a quarrel for some reason might break out on the dog,” says operations engineer Andre Luis Candido, 36.

Today, after four years of separation, the former couple continues to manage well the informal “partition” of the pet, which seems to be already accustomed to the routine of two homes.

We don’t have a clear order to stay with him because my job involves travel and I won’t be able to schedule dates in advance. Sometimes I also travel and stay with Morpheus. He adapted very well, ”says the teacher.

Morfeu has adapted well to the new dynamics - Fernando Moraes / UOL - Fernando Moraes / UOL

Morpheus has adapted well to the new dynamic

Photo: Fernando Moraes/UOL

Like Morpheus, pets are quite adaptable to changes, especially when accompanied by their teachers, but it is important to note changes in behavior in these cases.

“For example, a pet is very docile in the presence of both owners, but when under the tutelage of one party becomes aggressive, lacks appetite, apathy, sleeps excessively, or has compulsive habits that it did not have before, such as excessive licking or tail chasing. It should be monitored more carefully,” Sheila says PensinatoProfessor of Veterinary Course at Faculdade Anhanguera

When things go wrong

Katia Di Martino and her dog Tequila - Personal Archive - Personal Archive

Katia Di Martino and her dog Tequila

Photo: personal archive

That’s what happened to behavioral vet Katia de Martino and her dog Tequila, an 8-year-old French Bulldog at the time of their separation.

“I broke up and there was no discussion about joint custody. In fact, I left the house and so did the dog. But at some point, custody was shared and I realized that when the tequila came back I would go about three days without food and very prostrate. I wasn’t kind to her, so I decided not to be There are other visits,” she says.

Katya opposes shared custody and usually does not recommend it to teachers in her professional field.

Sometimes we impose an attitude just to satisfy our need, which ends up being selfish over the dog. It’s very important to keep in mind that we’re thinking of shared custody because we’re going to miss it, but you need to see if your dog is ready for it.”

The most common problems are related to behavioral changes such as aggression, compulsive outbursts, apathy, and even digestive problems.

The vet recommends that in cases where the situation is irreversible and contact is always lost, the teacher who remains under the guardianship of the animal follows a healthy routine through daily walks and games so that the pet maintains an active life and the animal is not surprised • the change in the dynamics of the home.

Two dogs, two houses

Renata Maria de Oliveira with pets a bull and a mandala

Renata Maria de Oliveira with Thor and Mandala, pets “split” from her ex-husband

Photo: Fernando Moraes/UOL

Since they are very related to Thor, a 2-year-old Labrador, and Mandala, a 3-year-old SRD student, Renata and Alan never thought about the possibility of not sharing custody of the two after the relationship ended as they were together more than everyone else in his house.

“When we were done, everyone went home, and while we got along well, we decided to take care of the two of them. It couldn’t be different,” says bank employee Renata Maria de Oliveira, 38. , teacher doguinhos.

They both have a fixed structure in the house with beds, food utensils and water so dogs don’t have to make a “change” every time they change their environment. Expenses are not divided equally and everyone bears their own expenses when they have pets.

The ex-couples get along well... - Fernando Moraes / UOL - Fernando Moraes / UOL

The ex-couple gets along wonderfully …

Photo: Fernando Moraes/UOL

... pets, not so much - Fernando Moraes / UOL - Fernando Moraes / UOL

…pets, not so much

Photo: Fernando Moraes/UOL

Thor, who arrived first in the life of the ex-spouses, attends two daycare centers, near each house, because he has plenty of energy to stay “still” all day. More relaxed, the mandala does not need to accompany her Labrador brother to school. Although they are not the best of friends, they (the dogs) get along well and in rare moments stay in separate homes.

At first, we separated the two because when a mandala arrived wanting to control space, there were many battles between them. So we left one here and the other there. Now the two are usually together. “They are not the best of friends, but they respect each other,” says Renata.

Although they both present different behaviors everywhere they live, the possibility of changing joint custody is out of the question.

According to a veterinarian, the best thing is to maintain a regular routine and follow professional - Fernando Moraes / UOL - Fernando Moraes / UOL

According to your vet, it is best to maintain a regular routine and professional follow-up.

Photo: Fernando Moraes/UOL

Renata and Alan are right when they keep the two puppies together during the time they spend in both residences. Veterinarian Sheila has learned that in cases where there are two pets, if they are separated from their “brothers”, there may be suffering.

She also explains that it’s important to maintain a routine of eating, walking, playing and resting schedules. It is also important to keep the same place for bathing and grooming, clinic or vet, it is interesting for the animal to take its belongings with it, such as toys, beds, pillows and blankets.

Whatever the choice, sharing custody or not, the vet’s advice is that an individual assessment of each pet and their emotional needs is done. “No one is equal to another, neither within the same species and sometimes even within their own litter or their offspring,” he says.

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