A true testament to the condition of a estranged father, the words which ‘was and still are the purest expression’ of his ‘feelings’ as an estranged father.
On Father’s Day, Jose (not his real name) called me to request an appointment, with the intention of grieving his children. I asked him if the children were dead, and he answered no, but they were separated.
José, a father, victim of parental alienation by a mother who decisively decided, through the deliberate and active adoption of repulsive behaviors, to create an exclusive relationship between her and her two children, illegitimately denying and excluding them from their children’s lives and the possibility of their care and education.
As José said: “One day, I hope that for charitable causes they will be able to understand what a father who is marginalized, completely isolated, banished and excluded from his responsibilities, duties and desires, suffers due to the influence of a sick mother who did so.” He does and does everything. He would do it to kill a living father, an outcast at the highest level.” A father who should grieve not because of the death of his sons, but because of the alienation of the mother.
“Today is a day I don’t have anymore! – March 19… I was really very happy on this date. I came to feel, on the inside, the most important man,” said Jose, noting how he felt on Father’s Day, of not having his children with him, said Jose. As the president of the republic, as a leader … “
But the pain and unhappiness that this father feels is deep: “Today I am nothing, just a man more unhappy than anyone else, another who has never been a father, another who feels amputated by a limb, from any pleasure, the last hair He died for the world as a father , educated, disciplined, and has a good effect.”
José was a father who gave in: “I will do nothing more, and all that I can do again will be used against me … I will not look for those who do not want to be found, those who avoid me, those who despise and ignore me .. all that I have done on Over the course of 15 years he has worked against me. Justice has given me the strength to fight, and evidence has given me the strength to surrender!… I’d rather surrender and quit, because I already feel like death.”
He is wounded by the feeling of being wronged for a crime he did not commit: “I must have committed the greatest of crimes, of assaulting the liberties, rights, and guarantees of those whom I had in my childhood!”
This long process of alienation has devastating effects on the emotional balance of the children who are being manipulated, which is ruined by the inability to love both parents. And this father also says, “More powerful than all of this are the influences, pressures, and blackmails targeted, whether they are aware or unaware of the suffering they are inflicting on me.”
José, like many other parents, withdraws and gives up the fight, because he feels that this position protects his children from the destructive conflict between the parental spouses: “I just do not want to feel responsible for possible deviations in the personality of my children, because of their severe “beating”, straightening And bending over, as it has over the years.” He also points to the fear of the conflict’s impact on children: “The dire consequences could be far worse and more powerful than a possible rescue.”
He talks about the consequences and suffering of children resulting from the emotional vulnerability of the parental alienation process that can have an impact on the psychological consequences for the rest of their lives: “In the future, they may accuse me of abandonment, but they will never be able to accuse me of perverting behaviors because of my insistence on wanting to become Father.”
Jose Abb no longer believed in the possibility of changing the situation: “This rescue will be so ineffective in the face of such a bad influence that they will suffer again, and again the cycle will repeat itself, as it has, cycle after cycle, over all these years.. History keeps repeating itself, until one of us surrenders, resigns, or dies!”
Children are the main victims of alienation processes; Children have no malice no matter how old they are; and feel guilt for causing suffering; And they themselves suffer from not being able to share their love for the most important person in their lives – their parents. That is why I say to Joseph and to all the fathers: Never blame your children. Never get angry Don’t say that children “are already old enough to know and evil and understand their actions and how much they make those who watch daily mourn their inability to be a suffering parent.”
We appeal to mothers and fathers who do not have children with them, do not abandon them and do not give up asking for help to hug their children again. Children need their parents not to abandon them, to remember that, regardless of their age, they are the main victims of isolation, targets of real domestic violence, victims of emotional manipulation, isolation from father or mother, and often from everyone. A large family, which carries with it guilt and a lot of anguish and insecurity.
We end with the testimony of José, in which, despite his disappointment, he expresses a message of hope so that one day his children will come to him again: “Yes, I surely give up. Yet my doors will not come close to the likely search that they, one day, As parents, they want to compel me.”